Allowed? Why Not?

The weather is glorious here!!! I'm sorry to start a blog post with such an unexciting topic, but the weather is consistent and predictable here so whenever I mention it the general reaction is, "yea...obviously, why do you feel the need to bring it up?". Being from a place where the weather changes nearly every hour, and is thus a big part of our lives, it's hard for me to go so long without talking about it, so there you have it. The days are bright and sunny, the evenings are warm and pleasant, the skies are always clear. Phew, glad I got that off my chest.

It seems there's almost nothing you can do here that other people will be bothered by. I may have never seen a Nepali person irritated. Sure, there are still all the other emotions. Happy, sad, angry, fearful, surprised, disappointed, indifferent. But annoyed just doesn't seem to happen. It's a very much more live and let live kind of attitude. I used to find myself asking the question, "are you allowed to do that?", quite often. But as with many of my overly Canadian comments, I've stopped. The answer was always essentially the same.

"Are you allowed to just light a fire in the middle of the street like that?" --- "Yea, why not?".

"Are you really allowed to throw litter out of your 2nd floor window?" --- "Yea, why not?".

"They let you drive right along the sidewalk to get to the front of this jammed up mess of vehicles?" --- "Yea, why not? And who is this 'they' you're talking about?".

Nobody's ever stopping anyone from doing anything at all around here. I try to explain who 'they' is that might come in to stop certain behaviours, but quickly realize there is no 'they'. Even at home the chances of an actual authority figure coming along to fine you for any particular transgression is marginal at best. Many perfectly legal activities are prevented just by the threat of irritating our neighbours and fellow society members. For the most part it's frowned upon to walk across a person's lawn, jump to the front of a long line of cars in an exit lane, make excessive noise at any given time (outside of a hockey rink), or heaven forbid be in someone else's way when they're trying to get somewhere in a hurry. In Nepal, I can't even picture someone becoming irritated by any of those things. Thus, "why not?", do what you want to do.

The absence of irritation is particularly apparent when it comes to noises. I believe I've previously mentioned the late night cymbal-clanging that accompanies almost every festival. I've never heard a single complaint against this. Or actually even anyone mention that it kept them awake. Maybe they're just more accustomed to sleeping through noises. In comparison, I know many a person at home who cannot sleep if the faint ticking of a clock is within the room. But there are several other examples as well. Cell phones are the most amusing of these. We sometimes think they're a disturbance at home, but you should see them in a country where disturbances are left entirely unrestricted! When a phone rings, the person will usually slowly take it out, look at it for quite some time (ringing even more loudly, mind you, now that it's been liberated from it's noise-muffling pocket or bag), and then regardless of the situation answer it and start talking away. This happens while in meetings, at training courses, sitting amongst an audience, or even while giving a speech to an audience. I watched with amusement as the head teacher did this a full 3 times while holding a school assembly. All the students and other teachers just sat calmly as he had somewhat lengthy conversations that sounded like they were primarily concerning his dinner plans. I'm just glad none of the students have their own cell phones.

A final example of being allowed to do whatever it is you'd like without anyone minding at all... My nephew has recently become rather obsessed with hockey. When he wakes up, he starts talking about hockey. When he goes to sleep, he's talking about hockey. When we do our special super-secret handshake, it now includes the words "hoooockey game, hooooockey yea!". Weird, I'm not sure where he got it from. But as I was drawing pictures of hockey rinks for him, he decided it would be necessary to paint all those proper lines on our rooftop. Our rooftop, though it used to be a very useful space for preparing vegetables, drying rice, or beheading chickens, has now been devoted entirely to the game. My reaction: "wow, that would be cool, but we'll have to ask your mom". I was expecting the idea to get immediately shut down. Her response: "yea, why not?". Keep in mind, this is the space that's used for all family gatherings, parties, or just anyone who drops by for tea. It would be the equivalent of painting red and blue lines all across your dining room floor at home. I have since convinced Pratik that chalk would be a better idea. You know, things are changing in Nepal. With all these Western ideas flooding in, I could see them 30 years from now, having learned of the 'irritated' emotion, sitting around on the roof and cursing that Canadian who came and painted bright red and blue lines all over the place.